What’s that Bronson saying now?!? (Part 2)

I made cookies for Bronson one day. When he came home from work, he smelled baked goods and asked, "Where is it? Where is the pie?"

I told him, “There's no pie.”

He checked the oven, felt it was warm and insisted I tell him where the pie is. Again, I told him, “No pie!”

Not satisfied, he looked all over the house for 15 minutes shouting, "I know there's pie!"

I was laughing so hard that I could barely tell him he smelled cookies!

  

Bronson Lee - I don't have chipmunk cheeks!

Tera - Oh yes you do. (laugh, laugh)
Bronson - If you say I have chipmunk cheeks one more time, I'll get liposuction.
Tera - In your cheeks?
Bronson - Yes!

Bronson Lee - Where is the windscreen shipping from?
Me - Cali
Bronson - Thailand!?!
Me - Cali
Bronson - California?
Me - No! The other Cali! 

(Bronson had that look of someone who just realized what they said but it's too late to unring the bell!)
Me - Um, where is the other Cali?
Bronson - Kali-mazoo?

What’s that Bronson saying now?!?

These are just a few things that Bronson said early on in our relationship:

At our first meeting.

Me: Do you have eyebrows?

Bronson: Yes.

Me: Where?

Bronson: It’s dark. You just can’t see them because of my Neanderthal brow.

Me: Oh.

No. That was not the case. He had singed them off at work and was too embarrassed to confess to it!

The flight home from Vegas.

Bronson: (straight faced, dead serious) I think I could survive a plane crash.

Me: Really?!? From 32,000 feet?

Bronson: Yeah, the key is to not tense up.

Me: That’s the key? Don’t tense up?

Bronson: Yes.

About a month later, we were watching Due Date and he heard what he thought added complete credibility to his theory. A doctor said something along the lines of – sometimes drunk drivers aren’t as seriously injured as their sober passengers or victims because they don’t tense up. He felt vindicated!